It happened again,
you came back with a visit
only to remind me that you were gone,
a list of occurrences needed to take place
enough to have me find comfort
in what might quickly disappear.
Always that is the ruse
when we feel least rejected
then suddenly our confidence unravels
at the hands of our own fear.
I remember the first time,
when the decision was made,
I didn’t have any leverage,
any sense of needing to be heard.
Very simply you had decided
the books would be sorted alone,
rather than together as I had told,
when suddenly I returned
to discover you left me without
any discussion, reasons unknown.
Seems we fall so quickly,
so difficult to discern,
what motivates our actions,
or who might decide on their own.
It is in the dreams we fear,
even when we know to awake
we cannot ever imagine a peace
might exist beyond that we forsake.