When I recognize pain,
it’s then I want to abandon
a chance to live my life freely.
Seems I want to embrace
the troubling truth of my moral
compass, the one responsible
for reducing happier moments.
When I recognize pain,
rather than scattering denial,
instead I let it drag me down,
find good reason to hate myself.
Our lives are meant for a freedom,
beyond mistakes that define us.
There was a concept of non-identification I simply was unable to bring into my experience for a long time. I still don’t really get it, but I have good clues now.
The only moments (and that can be the majority if I don’t take care) that I even come close to hating myself are when I have put myself in someone else’s story.
My being is all about surviving first, fitting in second and it reminds me of people opining about this and that and the how the memories cause me pain… until I listen. All judgement aside.
Unless I am the centre of my own universe, instead of an actor in someone else’s show, I’ve probably gone a step too far in viewing things through other people’s perspectives. And I can tell by the language… the words.
You are amazingly creative. Your writing sparks my inspiration. Never stop! 🌻
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I always appreciate your insight. Your words always leave in a thoughtful state of mind. I wish sometimes I could disconnect from what I feel. Most of the time, it is pretty directed toward my peace of mind. I am truly complemented by your words, always. Thank you. My apologies if I sometimes don’t get it, but know I always process your insights.
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What Crosses My Mind 
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