There’s a constant

bend in my mind,

I’m always asking

for a solution

but never seem to know

how to feel it

when it happens.

I don’t know what it is

to feel a free mind,

always calculating,

always undermining

what could be a good truth,

what might be happiness.

They keep telling me,

otherwise.

I can’t have this anymore,

it’s no longer mine,

but what happens

when all I want

is right there in front of me,

living a life that isn’t my own.