mattered, occurred, became known,
whether we wanted notoriety
or a simple life as a student.
Remember walking the halls,
feeling the eyes,
wondering about thinking
that could expose your own state of mind.
I remember they told me otherwise,
so I trusted their ideal,
and when the walls caved in
they were nowhere to be found.
I remember the rumors,
she was so beautiful,
carried such a wonderful spirit,
no one would understand the hate in mirrors.
In high school, we lived many different lives,
some would last a week,
others perhaps a couple of days,
it only mattered if we could find definition.
When the word arrived in our mind,
how could we possibly imagine
telling anyone, especially those eyes we were
already afraid of, deathly afraid of knowing.
While the world seemed different outside,
internal walls protected our sanity
only when we accepted ourselves in earnest,
if not, we relied upon a mask.
Though the transparency, when noticed,
became the final reckoning, we did understand.
always just a little late …