I do wonder,

I did fear,

I walked slowly,

feeling a certain remorse,

a favorable response to

deprecating evidence.

I wasn’t sure if I would make it home tonight,

not at all out of control,

completely behind the wheel,

icy roads were no match for the

cool ice coursing my veins,

the fear of survival,

the anxiety that met my innermost

private imagination.

Country roads,

black midnight sky,

snow bursts to remind me to be scared,

I hadn’t felt this disconnected

during any recent cross country adventure,

but tonight,

I worried about home,

my children, my spouse, my life,

I worried about my life …

the driveway felt like nirvana.