I can still stand there,
feel the pain,
realize just how close I can become
again.
Take a drink, the slow heat flow,
there’s a certain sense of clarity
that first drink blossoms a facade,
dropping money on a strangers table,
a release of tension,
letting go,
taking one day at a time.
There’s such a reversal in the hypocrisy
of denial.
I remember hope,
imagine having piece of mind,
in a couple of ounces of smooth.
All this euphoria,
the notion of escape,
a reality I chose to put away,
all of the fantasy with departure,
is standing right here,
ready to open the door to hell.