I was told once that He has a different plan,

since it involved me, I wondered

how knowing it is up to me what method

what sort of ideal

how might I decide

this new plan to be the correct one.

We all live our lives

in a sheltered, mechanical buffer,

one that if needed might bounce

toward new horizons,

yet there is the occasional

glitch,

the mechanics have failed,

not the individuals but the idyllic

nature of survival swept away.

so thinking today about the Almighty

plan, I wonder sometimes, what is it

really I am looking for, beyond my

own peace of mind. How drawn

by my insecurity do I hold myself

hostage toward my own personal

scrutiny.

I’m thinking about a different plan,

yet see the same reality each day.

This evening I am basking in the guilt

of knowing a decision I made earlier

has an end result to create grief.

Though I haven’t processed my loss,

I do more than ever want to know

the plan.