I want to wrap my head around the pain,
because that is where we belong,
we cannot forget the horrific loss,
the tragedy of humanity at its finest,
buried within the wild constraints of evil.
Where does it lie, just waiting?
I know myself when I walk into a room,
a certain baggage wrapped underneath
a well defined mockery of who I am in the moment,
yet no pistols, no hate, no racist bigotry
anywhere near my body, completely vacant
from my mind, I am left tonight only feeling tears.
I don’t understand where we are going,
when I was a child, I used to remember
hearing about the bad things,
having to listen to the news, and searching
the expressions, my mom’s distant looks,
my dad’s confused head shake as the meal prepared,
we were all a family just trying to get along,
trying to figure out a way to understand
only just then what was happening in our home.
We weren’t worrying for the moment about
Vietnam, Kent State, MLK, Malcolm, RFK,
we were singing Beatles songs and now recalling
the beauty that JFK provided for those few short years.
We never had the chance to see what life would be like
when MLK would finally turn 64, when Malcolm would speak
further, when the world’s leaders weren’t gunned down,
because some crazy assed american could make it happen.
I won’t give you crazy assed american the honor of capitalizing
the first letter of our proud nation, the one you desecrate
with all of your base, and evil, entitlement.
I want to say, well, to get to the end of my notion,
which cannot ever really end, because the dialogue,
the spiritual freedom, the positive balance,
well that piece of our hearts that allows us to return
to our homes as a family. That piece of sheer humanity,
allows us to live, well that’s the piece we need to get back to.
I’m going to cry tonight because I know not what else to do.