My First Experience With Survival

It was the summer of 72,

just beyond the previous winter,

I would stay home,

amongst my school friends,

chums, the guys I hung with

all school year.

 

Yet I didn’t know them,

because the 12 summers before,

when I began to remember,

around the age of four,

I’d spent elsewhere

in a different world,

a time zone whose style

didn’t match up

with the hometown crowd.

 

It was there I lost him,

imagine the imbalance in my mind,

a good friend

labeled my survivor guilt one time,

and I haven’t been able

to look past that ever since.

She gave a freedom

to realize life has reasons

and they’re not always mine.

 

So it is then that I reflect upon,

when today, I can barely breathe at all.

A Picture of Change We Will Unravel

Photo by Annie Liebowitz

Photo by Annie Leibovitz

I have heard ‘secrets,’

that interview was extensive,

a great deal of suggestion,

people complained,

some wondered, others scowled,

many didn’t care,

about the man’s affairs.

~

What do we read?

the hottest magazines that demonstrate

our most monstrous needs to associate

with a world we might sooner

discard than understand.

Please know there is little derision

in supporting the decision,

We just wonder again,

what is so important in our lives,

that a 62 year old woman,

makes the cover of Vanity Fair?

Now there’s an obvious thought,

who is it reads such affairs,

or perhaps are there a volley,

a vaulting interest in readership,

let’s dive in now, won’t we all,

join the list of new subscribers?

How quickly we pirouette the personal

into an arena of public scrutiny.

~

A man who no longer felt like a …

such confusions are beyond my realm,

when today I walked down the street,

see a pretty woman and a handsome man,

I really haven’t a clue,

of her suffering … just months to live.

By her demeanor they look happy together,

almost sort of teary when we think about it.

Yet tonight what is trending,

because that really is what we’re after,

in a world drawn by ruinous imagery,

we welcome in good, old, Caitlyn Jenner.

~

Meanwhile, across the world, in lunchrooms,

classrooms, gyms and locker rooms,

there’s those damn kids again,

struggling to find their identity,

wanting to cut, to use the wrong dosage,

drive a needle into their arm,

be gothic, morbid, walking zombies,

whatever trend that moves aside,

their own personal fear of scrutiny.

I wonder if any of these ‘miscreants,’

even think of buying the latest,

Vanity, vanity, vanity,

Caitlyn’s Vanity Fair.

Love Life

cancer-sucks-pictures

For we haven’t a clue

when out of the blue

our lives will be helpless

to the real world’s address.

~

Each day that we live

we have to just give

life its due process

we must just confess.

~

In the morning he was ill

such a wild complaining pill

when the sun began to set,

well then we became upset.

~

Throughout our lives we care

about things others wouldn’t dare

yet when the truth is told

nothing remains anything bold.

~

We will be strong today

our courage will not sway

The human condition speaks loud,

no indecision can be allowed.

~

Cancer sucks, it certainly does

when it is why, because

we will all go forward

with no illusion toward.

~

Love life together and free

believe in always you and me.

we are given constant chance

to live a life of elegance.

Growing Up

When I was just a little boy

I’d wonder thoughts of a man

How soon beyond this simple toy

would life become a void if I ran

away, apart from all that I love

searching again for that above

~

As then my teens would turn on me

the reckoning of coming of age

yet, what if instead I might decree

a liberty, desire to remain. I’d wage

a war on the passions that imply

that now today has become my lie.

~

For when the winds of November call

seems always we are falling down.

The blues of winter become visible

while we seek shelter, she her gown

drapes the countryside with that layer

of frozen tears, an ominous arctic prayer

~

Seems yesterday I was that little kid

playing about without a worry in my mind

each morning, in bloom a new orchid

that gave solace with little need to remind

me of a future that would cause such pain

I’d rather wander slow than reach for gain.