Purpose With Addiction

Oh there are these walls,

you can’t see them.

frankly I can’t either,

we can always feel them,

walking through a crowded market,

and the eyes,

the many faces that seem to know you are there,

and we wonder,

are we as obviously noticing them as they are,

realizing our world isn’t alone,

but rather,

we are all together,

fighting this machine,

goes far beyond who we are in the moment,

that’s when it all began.


The moment,

that clarifying incident,

the time our hearts hurt,

and yet,

we hadn’t realized the pain was not ours alone,

the world,

that local planet shit,

that place where we suddenly come to know,

the love and reason for living is suddenly,



we don’t know really,

not even now,

only real piece to hang onto,

is goodness,

we come to realize it does exist,

our hearts are capable of love,

the real thing,

the imagination once tested with artificial


has suddenly been taught to feel,

we do visualize beauty again,

the sun rose this morning and remarkable as it seems,

I …

I noticed.

Enduring Purpose

( – for Belinda )


We have our heart and soul

Tested at every walk of life

For some we might bestow

Always a sense of vocal strife


Though that seems the easy road

There are many who choose to endure

We are magnificent to behold

When our humanity can be clear


I look upon you in your eyes

I see some pain so welled inside

Yet buried is that hurt; so wise

To give yourself to others wide


I only sense genuine delight

When by certain quiet chance

Your ills might be less a fight

While inner peace is your elegance


Strive on and continue, while we our duty

Your eternal strength, we see only beauty.

Again, Humanity is Flawed

I walk into school

Thinking of you

We will start our morning

Sharing stories and glowing


I walk into school

Wishing for you

Together our quiet thoughts

Will share our childish wants


I walk into school

Imagining how you

Might help me know happiness

While we commiserate our stress


Yet I don’t anticipate this

I won’t imagine duress

The idea of something amiss

Remnants of a shotgun blast


I will be your memory today

While you imagine me

Start your morning in peace

Only tears we may release


I will be your memory today

While the human spirit’s enemy

Remains under constant scrutiny

Just let me desire your humanity


I will be your memory today

While your world continues forward

Believe that love is guiding you

Beyond this truly painful blue


While outside there is a semantic battle

Suggests my world and yours are erred

Scream at me with quiet judgment

Allow this moment’s glaring testament


I am your visual reality

When now you walk alone

And slowly we will regain resilience

Upon the terror of  a world’s conscience


I am your visual reality

When life ends without notice

The argument of hateful resonance

Begins in hatred’s own renaissance


I am your visual reality

When homophobic dialogue

Reflects an opinion we despise

Allows our voice to become wise


While outside the violent world manifests its decay

My spirit will remain strong and help you on your way.

Climb Inside My Dream

Sun peeks in morning light

Beckon early notions

Spiritual grace is here to be heard


We choose that path

Too often our dreams

Collide inside a battleground

Grasping for truths

Why do our desires wrap around

Such silly sacrifices


And the day moves on

Compelling activities

Just out of reach

As the mind overcomes

Any chance of redemption

Again we pause we compromise

We catalogue our ideas

For a sunny day



The sky is blue


I have a voice inside

Is stronger than my will

I wish it to quiet on certain days

But I cannot get it to hold still

My heart beckons for an easier way

To wish upon a star in silly terms

To hope that life might give away

The stumbling blocks with no turns

And now that conversation

Still holds strong as my words

Delay any sense of accomplished

… Dreams


Climb inside my fantasy

For a day

Wish for spiritual reckoning

In His way

Make allowance for nature’s terms

All one may


Innocent elegance is yet a dream.

I decided

A moment ago

I was a child

Playing in dirt outside

Until a scrape

A pebble created a blister

And now my knee hurts.

With the little red mark

The fragment of stone

Dug into my skin briefly

Enough to help me

Let me recognize

There is a feeling of pain

That exists when we move


Uncharted waters

Bring certain adventure

A storied once recognized

Journey respects change.

And today I traveled

Among peer and adult

With a new agenda

We would hope respect

Relies responsibility.

What question might infer

That you think me alright

About such sudden alteration?


The world knows me

As something defined today

No speculation

Simply circumstantial

Evidence to indicate

My psyche just entered

New waters

Mixed emotions

Frail reactions

Angry notions

Quiet disparity

That would allow


My neighbor

Locker peer

Health class hitchhiker

To destroy our weak bond


Being needy I would advise

Your life be simply more wise.


I don’t like you

You scare me

When you look happy

I feel threatened

I don’t care about you

Just give me attention

When I hate you

People think I am happy

You understand right?

When I slap you it matters

You’re my investment

I have to hurt you …

So I, uh, well I’m not ready

I won’t apologize

For living this way

Not caring about you

I mean

I don’t know how to

Any more

Than you know how to

Prevent me from

Treating you like a




Dis me

And I will slap you …

People watching

Need to know

I won’t back down

Until you are crying

Until you recognize

The lies that you believe

Are simply the


The why

The lie is why

I want to feel strong

People like me

People choose me

I’m a safe bet

I’m an American boy