Dreams & Shadows

Thank God for dreams

though they might frighten

in a scheming time

no filters no recourse

just a forcibly open mind.

Welcome to a bright ‘sunshiny morning’

So much enhanced

seeing the light of day

leaving darkness behind

my eyes did open

I did feel a sudden pain

slowly lifted

stepped away

in my dreams

shadows remain.

©️ Thom Amundsen 8/2020

In Shadows

images

Where my reality lives, I sometimes never know,

depends upon the breathing,

a slight rasp might mean finding an edge,

a smooth inhale is the sign of reaching an end.

I do know though,

when I glance to my side,

in a sunlit morning, I can see myself,

that part of me no one might ever understand,

yet it contains me,

all of me beyond the physical attributes,

that sometime do define who I am.

 

I like to hide from him,

as much as possible because the possibilities are endless

when I go about thinking all the mistakes he contains,

when the brilliance of my mind let’s loose,

and there is no where to turn except to jump in,

wait it out until sunset, at least then I might disappear.

 

I wish there might be the occasion when in a fleeting moment of forgetfulness,

he could gesture an implied consent,

a suggestive attribute of worthiness,

yet instead,

he lingers, waiting, watching, knowing,

what it is I might be wondering.

 

* photo found on Pinterest

Wonders of the Day

How do moments become real,

those that remain,

stay on the mind,

trigger our notions to react today.

~

When we wake in the morning

do we decide,

today we’ll slide

our lives into a deep cavernous fault

~

I remember being a child at young

and all my days

were spent with clays

modeling and forming imaginary futures

~

The sun burst through the morning sky

and I decided today

would be another day

to sit and wonder about what happened

~

Perhaps a little less emotion in my mind

with a callous edge

that non-caring soul

would help me live with myself again.

~

I wonder about the hours that lie ahead,

and will they remain,

just more of the same

or could this be the start of tomorrow

~

The wonders of the day are easily strung along

we just need to decide how far, and how long.

Shadows of My Heart – for a good friend

I want you to know

how real I am, can be, want you to

know why, how come, when, because.

As every question crosses your mind

think of me, her, maybe him, each one of us

might just answer the same.

We like happy,

good energy,

positive words,

delightful expressions

they make me feel really good.

I want to feel good,

know the world around me

is good,

believe the people I interact with

are good,

understand that each one of us

is inherently good.

Don’t forget that,

on those days when you feel despondent,

and want to cry, let the tears happen,

and cleanse your soul of the fear,

that foreboding piece of human nature,

the human condition,

the reason to ask why it is

I can never quite understand my shadow.

I Cry Sometimes

In the public eye what appears is shadows

Silent images along a wall

Faceless yet moving

The physicality is all that really tells

A story

A moment

A person looking directly cannot realize

The true extent of the shadow’s eyes

For their blank

Unseen crevices in a brick foundation

If for a glimpse

Inside the shadow’s soul

One might discover

A constant pain

A deep seeded memory

That twists around decades

Of child becoming man

That day when everyone laughed

With no one recognizing the truly hurt

Expressions

Reactions

The inner peace shattered

While along the wall the physical movements

Remain the same

Just simple gestures along a blank canvas

Dancing with my Skeletons

It was just the other day
In a cold December way.
We were dancing on the avenue
When I noticed I might review.

Shadows always would loom
Darkening the dim lit room,
Where I might seek refuge
Allowing the onslaught; a deluge

Of memory driven desires tapped
Sealed, locked away and trapped
Within a moment of ecstasy
Wild winds willing the crazy,

Recalling nights when quiet whispers
Became definitive eyes in the rafters.

Writing My Memoirs

I thought about it

~

One day

~

And then fifty years went by

I realized the stars hadn’t aligned

Maybe if I took the time

~

To reflect upon where my life has led

Gathering capsules where I’ve normally fled

~

Highlight the moments

That fatal winter

When everything changed and I began

To clearly know loneliness –

I had already dabbled

Loss

~

One day

~

Now each time I glance

I might see you just for a minute

A manner

A posture

A smile

A comment and then suddenly I am alone

~

One day

~

Life has become a constant challenge

Help me figure out

What it is that makes me stay away.

What about that critical mass?

What regards a new sunset?

How does the cycle remain static?

Why do I fear asking … why?

~

One day

~

I will realize that playing with words

Writes a song that speaks aloud

The beauty of a frost driven morning

The lovely eyes that capture a soul

Elegance and passion are one

~

One day becomes another

We see the trees again