Days Ago; Weeks Ahead

Did you wonder if it was about then,

that time, when we,

well, while the world grew cynical

around our own lives.

Did you ever think

we might be as necessary

the cogs in the wheel,

as anyone else who symbolized

that same hypocrisy.

Would you walk with me,

just for a short while

so we might again wonder

if that was ever really that

special.

Many days,

the long stretch of an hour,

the time it takes to wonder why,

I do want to cry,

instead I’m told,

‘say good-bye’

and let memory take the place

of what is today’s reality.

It’s just,

there are times,

there are these wisps of my imagination

tell me bold,

what a lovely time you always were.

I still don’t know if you’ll ever read this

the same way you could read my eyes …

~

*photo found on Deviant Art

We Were Younger Then

When did we become, our father’s instincts,

when our mother suddenly appeared in our gestures.

How far did we travel before eagarly coming to terms

with reality’s tease …

Remember when ‘just kidding’ offered hope

instead today,

we reason with our legacy,

suddenly twisting in the wind,

feeling the result of a gale force

slap in the face

while Father Time decidedly dance.

~

While society laid down the foundation

how to speak, how to laugh,

what to eat, when to realize

when we have made a gaffe.

When then the world became interlaced

with your way of doing things,

how might we rule the underlings,

why did that gesture seem to create some

noble frenzy of sacred morality.

Who speaks the loudest while determinant

outcomes caress the curious conformity of time.

~

Outcomes are a constant search, a quest, a dream

we all seem to interpret with a difficult strain

asks only we decide – we stop vacillating

around the ‘simple things’ and garner support

toward a challenge, toward the next level,

beyond that scope of who we are tomorrow,

versus how we became today.

While climates shout our name and ask with feverish

pitch the accommodation of new comfort levels,

we wish to still, we want, certainly need to flip a switch.

~

We have a certainty of moral standard we share in words

when suddenly, a hurt, a laughter, a visual reminder

tells us the search remains …

 

Don’t You Forget

i did fall in love with you,

I want you to always remember that

wherever life may take either one of us,

just know,

that beyond the distraction of humanity,

that piece of material reckoning,

the mechanical aspect of trying to survive,

just know there was that gleam in my eye,

when you looked back at me,

you smiled,

you became flush,

I stammered just a bit,

wasn’t for effect, this time,

completely real, that time I tripped in the book stacks

while nearing your cubicle in conversation.

Those times were so very real,

and you were

you.

Choosing Sides

My first attempt at The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “First Crush.”

~

We would walk the neighborhood together,

hand in hand at times,

more importantly when eyes were nearby,

shoulder to shoulder, and smiles,

nervous energy proud in front of

friends, those that didn’t understand.

~

if we could make it across the lawn

without losing … our connection,

it meant to us a steady motion,

therefore we were,

the two of us, she and I, me and her,

in front of everyone else,

going steady, shoulder to shoulder.

~

When the day came and mom and dad,

having martinis with friends,

the breezeway, the knotty pine,

the local neighbors talking about the judge,

her dad had found a home,

and suddenly at four years old,

Celie and I were no longer going steady,

she was going away,

our childhood memory would forever stay.

~

I remember that day in high school,

I was the new guy, listening to the P.A.

reciting the sports of the day.

I had just transferred, a punk lost,

trying to find his way,

when the name came across,

Celie ____ , first place in last night’s meet.

I didn’t know anyone to look to

to ask,  who was the gymnast that won,

that one,

that young woman was my former steady,

and now we were 15 years old,

ten years later.

~

Funny how we can find each other immediately,

when the day before, we held nostalgic sides.

Piano Keys

That summer

I listened, you heard

the keys of his piano

swept my life to a dream,

perhaps I was only in a wish

a hope to find peace with you

to discover how we as two

might find our one.

~

That summer

I listened, you heard

voices that beckoned

a state of mind, or affair,

desires beyond the words,

the keys that played

in my head

turned rather to pain.

~

That summer

I listened, you heard

my resilience torn away.

I stumbled alone to wait

while your world did evolve,

perhaps mirroring my dissolve.

If only then I knew the keys,

perhaps … well just

perhaps.

~

If Ever I Could

I might be that person I thought I wanted to be

the one that would capture your attention,

the man who would become your king,

I remember the hours that would go by when I first

began to compose my serenade to you,

I could travel for miles listening to every note

that might remind me of a way to speak to you.

I wondered then why I needed so badly to know,

what reason had I beyond just simply being,

I wondered how it was I could maintain your love,

when really, I hadn’t held onto anything at all.

If ever I could I might return to that moment

when I gave you my first kiss, and watched you walk away.

Your jeans, with their special lines, so well designed.

How is it that moment remains and allows me to forget

all of the pain, the confusion, the inability to understand why.

I could no longer hold onto you anymore, I could see in your eyes,

you’d moved on, you were somewhere else, the bookshelf collapsed.

I should have known then when words spilled across the wood

your reaction was simply to gather them into a pile,

a task left for another day without any immediacy,

their matter had little value anymore beyond some moment

farther away, in a distant future, a breakfast encounter

that when he walked through the door, she then mentioned to me,

how shallow his appearance, how vague his meaning to be.

If ever I could, I might truly wander back in time, I might wish

to realize then that now it all seemed the ruse it truly was.

State of Mind

Well it seems rather simple when we look it square in the eye,

you’re either thinking racist thoughts or your not,

it seems like it ought to be that simple in our world today,

yet, we now have to include state of mind.

~

We used to get away with recognizing hatred as evil,

a mile away you could see it in their eyes

today, we stand right next to one another and yet still

really haven’t a clue of that state of mind.

~

Inside a church where people stood and prayed and bled

they fell together in their efforts to be led

though hadn’t any idea of the person standing so nearby

on that particular day amidst their state of mind.

~

We go to work sometimes in a dull morning only wishing

to stay in bed sometimes for lovely reason,

yet we smile, we nod, we open doors altogether while

inside we may discretely hide a state of mind.

~

So who is it that can wonder how to corner the market

stand next to one another and smile genuine,

who knows the next time we are all leaning toward the sun

we won’t be yearning upon a certain state of mind.

~

I suppose it might be easy to offer a simple solution

It always is so much better in the right state of mind