I don’t know where it started,
one day as a child,
I think perhaps when they stole my bicycle,
I hated that it wasn’t locked up,
I hated not having any control,
I hated the embarrassment of being vulnerable.
I was only a child then,
I believed in the impossible,
I knew that anything could happen and I would always be safe.
… I became a father …
I remember the first time she cried, and told me the reason,
I wanted only to protect her,
she only had certain words she could express,
“I hate it there” she said,
“I hate everything about it” she cried,
“I hate having to go there” she wailed even louder,
I knew that she didn’t mean it,
this was just the easiest word to use at the moment,
we later laughed when the years went by,
we reflected upon what is important today, what became
a priority that when we were children seemed like endless pain.
There appeared to be a constant though,
when our lives paralleled childhood,
we both experienced a part of life we didn’t understand.
We made adjustments over time,
we learned to tolerate, to accept, to better engage in reasoning,
we realized that hate was a far more powerful term than we might imagine
We decided to become conscious of how we chose our words,
carefully,
with sensitivity,
we began to think before we spoke,
we thought everyone would do that same thing,
eventually.
We then discovered the evening news …
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