This matter of doors,
talked about in quiet rooms,
where two people, maybe four, three
could openly speak
closing doors, reasons why,
open doors, easily cry
for there is some certain avenue
allows us all to find our way,
if we choose to be
the person we might
want to
speak someday.
I remember a year ago,
saying I wished I might not live another day,
exhausted,
it was a similar hour of night,
this seemingly special occasion,
where I
the leader or the exhibit on display,
wanted nothing more
than to go away.
Yet here I am today,
celebrating some reason to explain
how it might I came to be,
this life,
this scrutiny
that only I control.
Oh I may allow others
have a hand
in my own dismay,
but it is in those darker
moments,
I can begin to
explain away,
the tragedy of my own
today.
I met someone once,
she touched my heart,
we spent hours into the twilight
talking about who or what our psychic meanings were.
I remember wanting only to
kiss her,
and yet so compelling was her ability
to sway the judgment of my play,
I listened,
and the hours flew by,
suddenly sunlight peeking through
her apartment drawn shades,
the two of us laying comfortably apart
together,
opened our eyes,
smiled,
suggested
what a day this will be
today.
So tonight,
just after midnight,
I look again into that open door, a space
just kind of waits,
and yet there are so many stories about
that man in the chair,
who looks like yesterday,
or maybe a little like his mom
whom as he weeps in
a sweet silence,
he imagines or hopes,
dreams on occasion,
if he did stand up,
and walk through,
there would be she,
and all of the questions
that have rocked his mind for over
half a century
might suddenly
come to life,
what some could easily pin upon
the afterlife
Yet why is that even as we try to blend
the pallet of our fantasy,
why do the same entrances tease our mind,
the darkness will always prevail
until that moment,
when trying to be,
might only become
the aftermath of
we in the some triggered response
to ending all of the confusion
that inherent blend of
mystery
the human condition.
Safe in my distance, I do imagine the other side,
and just wonder if a picture will ever help me decide.
