Tag: mental illness

Choosing An Edge

Republished on the recovery blog:

Dan The Story Man

artist: albert handel
artist: albert handell

I’m an addict,

my therapist told me,

edges are fun.

When first I discovered my ‘affliction’

as it is oft times referred,

I chose anger first to help unveil

the true emotions buried.

That was certainly the beginning

of a long relationship

with denial,

many edges,

from blade to blade,

to ledge, to choice, to reprimand.

I have experienced the fleeting nature of impulse

enough to wish to disregard sound advice.

I have climbed upon  the wall of despair,

hopeful somewhere along the way,

I might find an opening, or a reason to slip.

My therapist told me

edges are fun.

I find that to be true

whenever

the trigger seems right in the palm

of my hand,

the vehicle toward

satisfying my edge.

I am a fortunate addict today,

I’ve managed to blur the edge,

well enough to overcome

those crisp shiny endeavors

occasional tricks fo the trade,

labels

insidious

powerful

cunning

ah, the simple solution to the edge,

is certainly

choosing the edge of recovery.

… safe landings …

~

artist found on pinterest – albert handell

Up to the Fight

image

I’d like to meet the challenge

you present whenever the feeling is right.

Vague, gradual release of energy,

enough catches anyone off guard,

slowly seeping inside a comfort zone,

slithering past any roadblocks,

and the wall has been made,

well constructed, high to the eye,

that eye, no one else needs to see,

as long as only your vision is held.

~

If only for a moment I might reach

the other side before you sustain

the room, that place where all other

notions, ideas, desires seem to disappear.

They are always behind your mortar,

we know that, yet somehow every time,

we let it happen, rather sit and watch

it be constructed, than, battle foundation.

~

The distant future, that piece that even you

in all of your fiery venom – those days ahead,

cannot be touched by anyone especially you.

Yet, we all know you’d like us to believe,

you have a handle on that aspect of our lives

as well, slow seething, before any of us know.

We all fall into your trappings anytime, anywhere.

~

Not tonight,

I will fight, I will not allow your takeover,

I will dance the music that settles my anxiety.

We will recognize the nirvana awaits us

on the other side.