Tag: love

I knew a woman one time

I knew a woman one time,

long before marriage swept me away,

I could dance

alone in my room in my own way.

She was my truth,

she listened and then might smile,

I could tell her anything,

in our long walks,

finding trails along the river.

I knew a woman one time,

she called me eccentric

and I let her get away …

Snowfall

I sat at my window

watching the snow this morning.

It reminded me of

days of my childhood.

I could see the snow falling everywhere

covering trees, benches,

and walkways.

I was reminded of

my childhood

sitting at our picture window,

watching cars slipping up and down

that little hill nearby.

The window is where my dad

would paint a Christmas blessing

in the coming weeks.

That would make it harder

to look out the window.

Maybe it was his way

of having us focus

on what’s inside our home

rather than always searching.

I watched the snowfall today

excited about the winter ahead,

change of seasons,

the definition of

spirit, survival, and the goodness

of a snow in November.

Finding Self

I read a book the other day,

pointed in a direction

seemed attainable

if.

We all have those wonders

carry us through the day,

a decision in an hour

affects the rest of our lives,

well maybe it does,

at least in that moment.

What about another way,

a journey toward a risk,

what about asking for nothing,

instead finding out just what it is

holding us back

making us right

or at least thinking we are.

I read a book the other day,

plan is to do this,

read another day.

Writing Songs

A melody comes to mind,

now follow the words,

something to remind,

ours a heart holds words.

~

We always play along

imagining a moment

when two loves along

a path we once meant.

~

Happy and soulful can be love

Happy and soulful is our love

We did enjoy that time recall

Happy and joyful is our love

~

We traveled alone together,

a world around has changed,

though it didn’t really matter

our lives were rearranged.

~

Happy and joyful speaks our love

Happy and joyful speaks our love

Happy and joyful – sweet were the doves

She’s Having A Baby

I am a happy man. In just a few short months I will be a grandfather. My daughter is about to have a child and I could not be happier. I’m scared too. I think that is a natural feeling to have for your daughter, your child, a parental instinct to care and protect. I love sharing the moment with her and the other day we had a breakfast together and as I looked at her across the table she had that beautiful glow and when I looked in her eyes I could see her happiness and excitement.

Ours has not been an easy couple of years. Her mother and I divorced a week or two before Covid so there were many aspects that were difficult and straining. She as my daughter had to deal with the difficulty of watching the bond of her mother and father collapse. She had to decide which side to take or whether to take sides at all. I struggled early on as I still do today but the common thread throughout all of it was that I did not want to lose my children or have them ever feel I didn’t care about their mother. Slowly over time that bond has mended itself well enough along the way to know that we can all still have lives together.

My daughter and I have always been close in a father and daughter fashion. She has always known I have her back and would do anything within my power to help make sure she is happy and safe. The divorce offered a wrinkle for me of a wonder whether that bond was destroyed. I walked around for a year or two believing it was as it should be because I took full responsibility for the divorce. I was the problem and I felt ashamed in the eyes of my children. I have cried enough to convince myself how important my relationship is with both of my children. Over time that has healed as well as it can, and we are again happy to see and know one another. She knows I care for her and I care for her mom but am accepting of the reality of the demise of our marriage. And then bring a new baby into the picture and the wow is wonderful.

My daughter married just over a year ago after a long term relationship with her new husband. They always wanted to have children but they were patient along the way. Once they married it was clear to begin trying. Her mother went over the moon with happiness when she found out her daughter’s condition. My ex has always loved babies and now to have one that she can call her own granddaughter gives her a happiness it must surely be hard to describe. My son as well is beyond words happy for his sister. As a prospective grandfather I feel much the same way.

So here we are in a new stage of our lives. I am happy to know I will be an integral part of my grandchild’s life and that there is delight and love all around us. We have a child coming in our future and all we need is to believe in the love that exists in family and childbirth. I remember when my daughter was born it was the first time I felt I had experienced in true form a natural miracle and now life comes full circle again. Embrace love.

On Being

I posted a meme tonight about the essence of life, and what ought matter the most in our society, our world, our planet. The quote wasn’t my own. It appeared a scrawl on the side of a building like graffiti. It might have been photo-shopped but was effective. It spoke of how the planet doesn’t need more successful people, but instead needs more love and peace and healing. I was taken by it enough to believe it mattered.

I thought about it afterward and concluded with that age old question; what defines success in our lives? I think it meant being comfortable with ourselves to give to others rather than being wrapped up in having to prove our worth. Isn’t success simply being satisfied with who we are without measure? I found myself re-evaluating my life and once again treading the terrain of that slippery slope. What is my success story? I concluded it is undefined.

I have always had rough patches to go along with my happier moments. One would argue without the pain there would be less appreciation for the happier measures in our lives.

I have been through a difficult couple of years, times of which I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. So many cathartic miseries that somehow today are beginning to have positive meaning in my life.

So how do we measure success? How do I measure my own? Instead I would like to choose to live my life with the freedoms put before me. I would like to appreciate my life and the world around me.

That is my measure of success.

On This Day

My heart will fill

a memoriam

days passed will

our autumn.

The rains are light

painted windows

quiet shelter might

our heart knows

like breath at night.

Then was a gasp

we could see

love within grasp

our vast sea.

Hold onto this moment

fresh air, sweet rain

we may quiet lament

today is our rain.

If She Knew

There in the wind lays definition,

she called them changing winds.

If we could recreate days of passion

perhaps then love properly gleaned.

~

Yet days and hours of time forgotten,

though symbolic reminders lay about

we could in simple terms relive again.

Beauty in circumstance beyond doubt.

~

Oh follow me on this our sensual journey

Oh follow me is this our sensual journey

Oh follow me will be our sensual journey

~

For it is the two of us no longer paired

though in our time so loved had we dared.

Go on and on and on as well we cared,

yes love does happen practiced and paired.

~

Oh follow me in this our constant journey.

 


© Thom Amundsen 10/1

A Wandering Mind

I wonder sometimes where it is I might go,

if given the opportunity

the freedom to walk away from everything

mechanical in my mind.

You see,

there is a kind of volley of emotion

we live by,

we cannot forget or perhaps

we wish we might be the one,

whom always does

need a reminder,

a reminder to live our lives

in the present

without reflection,

no memory

that might bring us down,

for there is the rub,

that down-trodden personality

the one that seemingly

‘makes us stronger’

in the end when it is far too late.

Too late,

you might beg for an option,

and quite simply there is,

but until you decide,

had enough

that fantasy remains strong

as we age,

stronger forever,

an eternal duel with what works

and what unravels in time

for a crisis to engulf …

my state of mind.


© Thom Amundsen 9/2021