Tag: fear

In Dark Corners

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There are these manners,

they exist,

meant to offer some respite

for our inability to communicate.

 

Perhaps if in that sheltered

concrete, fabric, wall of deceit

we might discover some reason

to associate.

 

The honest gentleman in the corner,

holds a smile as genuine as love,

yet there is fear in the eyes

of anyone’s beholder.

 

While on a sunny afternoon,

a stroll appears to the eyes,

we can probably count on the

human conditions humor as wry.

 

I wonder about dark corners,

when fear emits its own suggestive tone,

how is it possible,

that I might feel compelled to hide.

Outside My Head

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Dance in pummel of sordid thought,
a barricade decries our pleasantry
instead wreaks havoc selectively.

Oh furrow inside a mindless dream,
play the fool to hide the scream,
a brain has energy of certain matter.

We shadow our true identity
in search of some promised land,
yet, seek it alone, for is travesty.

Only strength of character survive
a constant of scrutiny sewn society
that places a marker on well being.

In the glorious sunshine of summer’s way
my spirit parlay the human condition today

In Shadows

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images

Where my reality lives, I sometimes never know,

depends upon the breathing,

a slight rasp might mean finding an edge,

a smooth inhale is the sign of reaching an end.

I do know though,

when I glance to my side,

in a sunlit morning, I can see myself,

that part of me no one might ever understand,

yet it contains me,

all of me beyond the physical attributes,

that sometime do define who I am.

 

I like to hide from him,

as much as possible because the possibilities are endless

when I go about thinking all the mistakes he contains,

when the brilliance of my mind let’s loose,

and there is no where to turn except to jump in,

wait it out until sunset, at least then I might disappear.

 

I wish there might be the occasion when in a fleeting moment of forgetfulness,

he could gesture an implied consent,

a suggestive attribute of worthiness,

yet instead,

he lingers, waiting, watching, knowing,

what it is I might be wondering.

 

* photo found on Pinterest

Waking Without The News

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latest-news-abstract-7761499.jpg

I awoke this morning with a certain calm,

the quiet heartbeat of my dog nearby,

the sun just beginning to radiate the room,

life seemed a slow melodic sort of tune.

 

Oh, there are certain ideals on my mind

that weigh heavily to be understood

yet for that moment, that initial lull

I could appreciate the sound of life alone.

 

Nowhere shouted the proclamatory pundits

wreaking havoc upon my state of mind

while millions of others like me would stir

to begin our daily frenzy of not knowing where.

 

I wonder sometime if it is that simple

to allow ourselves to breathe rather than

respond to the horrific mongering, albeit

I woke up today without the news.

 

* Photo found on Pinterest

On People, Love, and executive orders …

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I am thinking about my Muslim students tonight. I am thinking about my Latino, Mexican, African American, Somali, Hispanic, Russian, Asian & White students tonight. I am imagining the confusion in their minds this evening and this weekend as they realize their lives have been measured rather than given the freedoms they would like to believe exist for them as citizens of the United States. I am imagining my students who choose not to stand for the Pledge, and coming to terms with the reality of their decision. I am understanding frustration and fear.

I understand a lot of the misgivings that are going through their minds, and I can be empathetic to their struggle. I look in the eyes of the children in my classroom, and I see innocence and hope and faith turning toward a bitter, resentment that fuels the certain fear in their mind as they think about their families and cultural roots being slapped with restriction and discriminatory hypocrisy.

I can hope and pray that our political system recognizes the impulsivity of ‘executive order’ mania that has overwhelmed our first eight days under this ‘reign’ of power. I want to respect the office, but I keep seeing my students in the classroom, and right now those anxieties are what I will pay attention to in the coming weeks and months and years.

I’m ready to stand in line and protest this derision that has only begun to separate itself further from the essential work that has strengthened our civil liberties for decades, that in one full sweep has ignited a fear in the minds of many. I can only hope that our society will continue to focus on one concept that could, that needs, that can only begin the healing process.

That concept is love.

I am conscious of the mosaic of love that exists in our nation and will only believe we continue to recognize hope over fear. I will not be silent.

 

Check Your Need

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Check your nails,

primp your hair,

fix your tie,

pull that food out of your teeth,

people die

~

Meet the boss,

play the silly fool,

smile to your strangers

walking by,

be sure we all can see your eyes,

people die

~

plan your life,

hug your animal

frolic in the springtime air,

plant your garden,

there’s more beyond the world you live,

people die

~

‘I read the news today, oh boy’

‘if you try sometime, you get what you need’

‘and you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack’

‘there’s a man over there with a gun in his hand’

‘stand up and be counted’

everything sounds so familiar and right when we lose!

~

for the years continue to climb,

lives begin and transpire

incidents define,

heart and soul and positivity decline

while we every day wake up to the morning news …

people still die.

~

© Thom Amundsen 2016 March

Lyrics

Beatles

Rolling Stones

Talking Heads

Buffalo Springfield

AC/DC

 

When Reality Speaks

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While we stood in line, the visions we imagine,

continue on their way, uninterrupted,

cold to the touch in manner of sensitive good.

~

Shelter the soul of the hurt and desperate ideal

in the order of humanity’s mortality

we could find distraction to be our nemesis.

~

Witness the truth of the vulnerable soulful man,

while life clicks on in pace,

we haven’t discovered a solution to death.

~

In family there is the escalation of delightful

peace, the respect of inevitable time,

that which decides our strength to survive.

~

Yet still we do sit in wait, in helpless purgatory,

knowing that there is that reality,

that certain choice we haven’t any clarity.

~

Beyond the notion of the here and now,

there is a peace, we must embrace with love.

When I Was 17

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I remember not wanting to be around,

afraid of my own shadow,

playing anxiety games with my friends,

see who could cover their shadow,

who might understand the freedom

the real world,

the possibility that exists beyond our dreams.

~

I remember sleepless nights with an amphetamine,

the coursing through my veins attitude,

we could last for hours on our own,

no signs of empathy needed,

we were powerful with a dash of freedom

in a zigzag rolled with the finest weed.

We were always able to finally fool ourselves.

~

I remember wanting to escape,

hoping this next moment might be my freedom,

the simple reality of an hour,

could I forget myself long enough to remember

where it was I wished to be,

when while a slow reality might creep in,

I could still be 17.

~

I remember when it was possible to dream,

imagine a world where my life seemed real,

I could play with ideas,

preach philosophies that turned on the girls,

i would listen to Steely Dan,

while trying to paralyze my body,

through some Buddhist meditation.

~

I remember seldom wondering about the next day.

Last Night’s Anxiety

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Real.

Made up will not suffice.

Perfection is a model for memory

when lost in the shadow of fear.

Unstoppable.

Passive.

Remarkable in patterned stealth

tendrils suffocation drawn.

Observation.

Callous.

in every waking moment a trapping,

a formidable locksmith might overlook.

Posture.

Presence.

Quite assured no response to time

could offer solution, satisfaction.

Perhaps.

Solution.

In time a drowsy eye could tear

enough to drown self-pity.

Cope.

Anxiety Rush

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I think the day was rather sunny,

at least that I recall,

layered in my own shawl

a travesty of the fall of humanity.

~

Could we ever move in freedom

if when we blink an eye

there is the question why

should we attempt design a kingdom.

~

When while a spiritual guide exists

in the hearts and mind

of the many who remind,

when is it that faith insists.

~

Can you see my eye, the fear I contain,

might reveal my inside

persona I keep beside

me as safely tucked away I can maintain

~

Some dignity of form I revel in

walk the streets clean

knowing that my machine

has met the standard; a societal win

~

now a certain grayness overcomes

the temperate nature of mine

a loathsome place I do incline

to share with no one; beat the drums.

~

When while I wallow in self-pity in frame

here now why would you let me join the game.