When I Cannot Breathe

There becomes a slight pang,

grows with each sense of desire

perhaps some might call it pain,

yet this speaker would suggest a small fire.

There becomes that need to understand,

yet the clock ticks its metered reality,

and the notion, the ideal, some aspect

of hope,

is filtered down again,

to a one-time solution that never satisfies.

We can sit here all day long and spout off about

success, recovery, decent appraisal of our lives today,

though the path seems clear, still we wander,

when turbulent seas settle in to the mind,

there must be some reaction, an outlet, a place

to land the angst we have so often gained control of

in the past.

Yet, I want to be here,

this present of serenity,

this presence is all I ask.

How might we figure out some way

to address the constancy of

of

of

inherent failure modeled around

a sometime human compassion.

Other time a stigma whose most powerful advocate

must be the man, the woman, child,

the benefactor of resource gone awry.

There it is then, that transference is well on its way.

Get thee to a session old man,

Get thee to a human factory of love.

I Still Cannot Dance

Throughout my life I’ve tried a rhythm

yet followed I am by a worry of them

that soulful populace happy to dance

while for me if I do, its taking chance.

~

So often is the energy round in motion

while clever facades pretend emotion

speak to me sated with journeyed love

give my desire a sign from above.

~

Tonight, tomorrow, every single day

I rise to an occasional tedious way,

yet too often are my smiles new haunts

nobody knows, no-one certainly wants

~

A day in the life of a worn out soul

fragmented floating parts of a whole

Solace in Rejection

rejection-ignore-no-ss-19201

Haunting, perhaps a notion, angst, some feeling

of fear in the pit of my stomach,

that which I never want to return to again,

yet, I haven’t a clean slate,

I have human condition instead,

matched up with societal choices,

favors, friends, family,

all the different values of our history,

that open the doors,

and slam the locks.

So what is it I am afraid of,

will I return,

fall back into the trappings,

take a hit, belly up to the bar,

sniff with a following injection,

perhaps instead I might continue the fight

yet I am so tired, so very exhausted

by the reality of the game,

for it is that you know,

addiction,

the biggest fuck your head around I know,

yet, as long as I can still play,

I’m going to win,

take my losses and mount a force of reckoning

on such positive distributions,

that necessary energy,

to help me,

pause, to let me realize,

I can learn more, everyday,

I don’t ever have to stop

wishing successful.

All Else Fails

That’s when the cup,

we often debate about it,

poured in, spilled out.

When all else …

we come to realize –

oh wait,

I do.

I am the one,

the individual, that person, this living being,

the one to make the change.

When all else –

becomes a reality,

then it is then,

when I have to go forward,

saying only these things,

speaking just the words that fit,

understanding,

acknowledging there is this inherent

need to succeed.

Such a powerful phenomena,

far better than the ruse,

of living in failure.

I believe, do you?

What about today?

Let’s think about the next time,

we wonder about the finish line,

it never really ends though,

we just continue,

fighting the good and common

role, roll with it, mastery,

is knowing failure is never defined,

nor be it accolades for accomplishment,

because when the sun rises in the morning,

there is far more ahead.

Fleeting Failures

With ev’ry fiber his body is tense,

A silent request to forget the cold.

Aware his passive needs wish no offense,

Spiritual reckonings react bold.

~

Haunting memories; Nature’s innocent

Reality might always knock on doors,

Holding keys allowed while only recent

Lessons may describe pathways he abhors.

~

When suddenly life has many years now

Traveled beyond that hour of settled doom.

Now might the passerby recall, just how,

That fleeting failure could perhaps mushroom?

~

Remember each trail, forever recall

Life reaps beauty within each time we fall