Nancy’s Glance

 

 

Whispers wind and weave

Yet the winds are still

While we may weep

By love’s anguish

Soften by memory

Of a beautiful smile

A lending grace

Cherish that moment

When love reminds us all

Of simpler sounds in laughter

Time is her marathon

And she will lead

In quiet mystique

Let confusion be resolved

By her dignity; that elegance

A spiritual journey

Beckons our lives and conscience

To understand pain’s

New state of mind

 

The winds

Murmur inaudible words

In mirrors

Life remains

To forgive

That clarity obscured

Beauty is Nancy’s Glance

Her smile

Her earth now Surreal

And tears remain

Our symbolic reckoning

 

Inside that runner’s dream

Her silent sojourn begins.

 

ta

2006

 

Dedicated to the life and memory of Nancy Gee

We Are Alive Together

We are the eyes of now

We sing

We dance

We breathe

Our energy is shared

Together we begin

Recognize please

The beauty of a moment

When ideals crisscross

Imaginations ascend

Sounds emanate that we create

In the moment

Passionate living people

Shake, rattle and hum

Its how we move

Our voices are one

We breathe together

Our worlds

Our human condition

Today knows no boundaries

Today becomes truth

We may beckon our desire

Shouting in smooth rhythmic tones

We are alive

One Simple Wish

Stand,

before our eyes,

witness the world we live in.

Is it far different than

any life we might imagine?

 

I cry

for the lost and meek.

Their stories

often remain

unheard.

 

I weep

for the free spirit

somehow laying down

unable to move

with quiet pain.

 

I hope

for dignity

and character

In those around us;

that may live alongside our soul.

 

We celebrate

with family and friends

the everlasting spirits that

came before us.

Their Names belong with us.

 

Today, tomorrow and yesterday

each morning sun

reminds me God (by a name)

creates our world,

knowing far greater worth.

 

Tonight we celebrate

together;

families uniting.

A wondrous beauty

that reasons a new life.

 

That I might

understand that words

have a merit,

far beyond

echoed dreams.

 

No matter language

the message imports

one true meaning.

And shan’t we dignify

Such truths?

 

We fire our minds

in tragedy and hope

the stars may watch

our transgressions

with sympathetic eye.

 

May the night

bless our lives

one time to realize

Love is that word

that creates our harmony.

 

Might our truth be such

that Peace and Good Will,

really might beckon our hearts

in a manner;

offer guidance in solace.

 

Love, peace, beauty

And passion,

They may bring tears

Yet that Joy allows

our human kind renewal.

 

In holiday we gather our souls

And that is indeed a ‘wealthy’ gift.

 

 

 

Written while listening to Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major

Inspired by my brother.

To Imagine

An apology
speaking out
I’m against something
We disagree.
If a picture
Speaks out loud
We might argue
Over words
Is that danger
As effective
Or can a gun-toting
Teacher
Teach me
Teach me
Teach me more
About living
Life
The pursuit of …

I have an argument
We disagree with
Yet when I stand
Alone
Speaking to my classroom
I like my chances with words
Heaven forbid that I leave
The Decision
In a higher authority’s
Gracious hands.
I’ll use eye contact
A smile
A pleading ‘it’s ok’
To be angry
And disagree
And that conversation
Will ring true
Far more than
A bullet in my back
wall
Floor, backpack, ceiling fan.
Human error.

“I have a dream” spoke
the man of my generation
MLK Jr believed in love
And John Lennon
Later on asked the world
To Imagine.

They both died in a hail of bullets
Pacifist, praying, peaceful,
Speaking of love
They were shot dead in cold blood
But not by avid deer hunters
Not in the cross fire of a duck hunt
Nor a ricochet from the range.
Their deaths symbolize
How absurd the human condition
Becomes in the face of LOVE.

A picture stirs a pain in my heart
I’m not a violent man
Either are you
That’s why you chose
To stand in front of a gallery
Of vulnerable youth

To teach a child about hope,
To teach children about integrity
Teach them love.

Night Moves

Stillness

Often words alone

Running parallel in my mind

As hours tick past my dreams

the awake moment holds strong

Quiet reckoning

Can’t move

Can’t think

Can’t evolve

And sleep

Becomes a luxury

That awaits

A contemplative mind

Hours now intertwined

inside the forgotten moments

Walls

secure the room

like running in place

like running in place

like a simple trace

We stand in silence

Hope reasons a

surreal mystique.

Ethereal Mist

Ethereal Mist

 

Feel it

Imagine a presence

Wherever we go

Howsoever we travel

In any given moment

A mist shadows our lives

 

Place fingertips

Towards the sky

All around the skin

The mist exists

Almost in a manner

Of common knowledge

 

Our lives

Driven and pursued

We choose to cry

Laugh, sing and declare

All within a structure

Based on a whim

Of that ‘mist’ as action

 

Define me

Figure out my motives

And my spirit lives,

Breathe and dance

Upon memory

Upon delight

Bliss in life

 

Spiritual

Reckoning.

Search for meaning

A thoughtful purpose

Within mystique

We declare reason.

What if we began to agree?

What if we began to agree?

We are on a journey

Together our minds are occupied

Rarely do we share exacting ideas

In fact we often keep ourselves alone

Wielding a safety net from scrutiny.

Yet when we share,

Look into one another’s eyes

Really look deep inside

And recognize; our breathing

Becomes similar in time.

Are not those moments to realize?

Can we understand character that create

Fears we hide from one another

Continue to drag down our

Desire to appreciate Peace?

I took a walk the other day

And on the street I noticed you.

As I strolled by your eyes followed me

We weren’t ever going to interact

We just felt compelled to notice.

How many moments do we stroll right past

Each other?

How often does our insecurity prevent;

Remain our albatross

That could never be shared.

Imagine an afternoon whereby

The ‘crowd’ at the bus-stop

Suddenly felt compelled to share

Ideas and philosophical notions

What if we began to agree?

What does support mean if we choose

To ignore the needs of our neighbor?

If a friend calls you deep, are they aware

That in a given moment your own fears

Might cause you to run?

So often we concern ourselves

With issues that mean nothing.

Tomorrow, can you put aside

Your differences and just say hello?

What if we began to agree?

The Night Before Surgery – Six months later

Around six months ago, I underwent open heart surgery. I speak candidly about this today, but the last time I posted here, I was imagining a surreal experience. At that time, everything in my life was surreal. I was starting another school year, but the next day, August 29th, I was about to meet with a surgeon that would consult me on a pending surgery just three weeks away. My school year would not be as I’d imagine. I remember at the time a friend of mine suggested I blog the experience. Looking back on the process, I did have a lot of time on my hands to write about the process, but the last thing I wanted to do was create a venue for people to feel sorry for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love attention, but to actually wish for people to show sympathy to my situation just seems a tad grandiose. I think I am too old for that attention.

So today, I am back to speak about my recovery from heart surgery. I feel like my life is about as normal as it can be. I still have bouts of depression. I continue to struggle with time management. I look at life experiences with the same nostalgia I have often looked through my life with.

The difference I suppose is that I am alive. I remember going into the surgery wondering if I would come out. I thought about putting a will together, but then, I decided not to out of fear. The fear was quite simply that I thought if I actually wrote stuff out it meant this whole process was real. And then, the day did arrive and everything became very real.

I woke up in the hospital feeling more physical pain than I had ever endured in my life. I opened my eyes to my wife Susan and children Alex & Libby. They were right there waiting for me to awaken, and I could see their tears but I felt so much pain I could barely acknowledge them. I remember at one time saying to Sue that she better tell her parents to go home because i wasn’t feeling up to it. Suddenly I realized I was feeling guilty for turning people away, even though I had just had my chest opened up and my heart physically massaged by human hands. Yet, I was feeling bad about turning people away. Perhaps, what I needed was to rest and recognize I had just had open heart surgery, and it was ok to withdraw into myself for a day or two.

That’s it for now. I’ll talk about that first night of recovery in my next entry. Good night.

Day Two, Tuesday

A productive day in a manner of speaking. We listened to a speaker that delivered the message of Commitment to Greatness or C2G as the acronym suggests. The bottom line is let’s look forward and recognize our students need to connect to respond to education. A wonderful premise and doable.

On a personal level, I continue to be pre-occupied with tomorrow’s appointment with my surgeon. I continue to gradually let people know about what’s going on, even had some surprisingly solid conversation with people I have been quite indifferent with in recent years. It is a wonderful indicator that I have a huge support system that is going to help me through this difficult situation.

I am hopeful but scared; positive but anxious; realistic but feeling a little surreal as I anticipate tomorrow’s outcome.