In my writing I’ve always been knowingly cautious. There are certain things about my life I am not proud of and just hinting upon a few of those skeletons leaves me a little nervous. The fact is though, I do have to live my life, rather than going stir crazy. I think in my long moments of solitude, I could easily be driven along that dusty road. I’ve found an outlet to help me parse through all the angst and hurt. I have concluded that it is going to be my writing that helps me find peace in my life. So as of late I’ve begun delving more into essays beyond just my poetry. I still write poetry, just trying to find new angles to write about, exploring verse and rhyme. In the meantime finding moments to discuss what are some of my personal emotions that carry me through my days seems tenable. I can only trust myself. 

For the last six years I’ve awakened to a bit of a nightmare. Every day is an evaluation, a reminder, a task. I awoke this morning and just looked about my space and thought to myself, I wonder if I will leave here to live somewhere else. When I moved in I had no idea how many years would go by, and I still don’t. I do know I have established a life here and early on called it my writing studio. I’m always hopeful for that manifestation in my life. Several years ago, I started playing the guitar which then fell by the wayside, but my guitar looks pretty cool over in the corner of my living room.

How I approach my personal life depends upon how much I allow my own trust of myself to seek that confidence to explore my own reckoning. I think it is really easy to fall into a pattern of self loathing if we practice hard enough. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, all my life really. I’ve practiced measuring myself in society and never being completely satisfied. Everything I’ve ever done in my life has been second guessed in one way or another.

The only true achievement I have that I can speak to is our two children. Despite anything that has occurred in the past or future, those two miracles humble me immediately. My heart and soul belongs to the two of them, and that’s forever.

So, I’ve laid the groundwork for a few things to ponder. Thanks for listening.