My day has been spent exploring my past. I realized something this morning that is out of my control. I can only make my own adjustments in my world, this small world where I keep myself safe from outside influences. So you ask what I mean by such a statement? I feel like I have been compromised on a personal site of which I am a member. I’m not going to go into details, only to suggest it is a compromise I am not comfortable with and I need to express my concern, so here we are. I’m not going into anymore specifics, just using the moment as a motivator to speak directly to those skeletons I carry with me, every day of my life.

When I have made mistakes in my life, they never completely go away. There are always reminders, primarily those that tear me apart that I can no longer fix, I just learn to live with them. A friend of mine told me once that I needed a crisis in my life to give me motivation. I guess I have been motivated my entire life. So how do I cope? I woke up this morning feeling a bit overwhelmed. My skeletons tend to speak to me through my dreams, and lately, my dreams have been frightening. I wake up and breathe a sigh of relief after I come to terms with what just happened is simply that, a dream. So where does that leave me with my skeletons?

I try to evaluate what is most important in my life. Is it my credibility? Perhaps. It might fall under my finances? Perhaps. I actually do know what it is. My relationships with my kids is my highest priority, and the one thing I can have some control over. I’ve given them a lot of freedom since Father’s Day. I am not reaching out to them, I’m letting them reach out to me. I am accepting the fact I may not hear from my daughter until the day her next baby is born, which isn’t very far away. I’m coming to terms with the reality that both of my kids live busy lives, and I can only hope they know that I would be there for them at the drop of a dime. I love my children more than I do love life itself. That is obvious when I think about my state of mind, the majority of time. My kids keep me hopeful.

A brief visit to the impact my skeletons have on my life. There are a lot of beautiful truths in my life that I need to be thankful for. My children, my years spent with students in theatre and all their walks of life. And now, as I venture further into my retirement, my beautiful dog, Shae. If nothing else, I know I am loved, and that is apparent in her actions every day. So, for today, a brief look into my own every day.

Thanks for your visit.