Three years ago I took a job with a small school to run their theater department. Seemed perfect, I was the boss of my own company, I made all the decisions. What happened is exactly what one would wish did not, and I was relatively stuck. I was taking a job in a place where I knew the present director, and I was actually looking forward to working with him. Turned out two weeks before I began he was removed and so was his design company. I was stuck with a job and absolutely no resources. I didn’t walk away.

Turns out my assistant director would be the ex-wife of the guy who was removed, and they had kids in the drama program at the school. I was lucky the one son that wanted to stay in the program could act at all. He ended up being my lead for three years. His mom would later step down after my second year. I never felt completely comfortable with her. Her son, my lead actor, would eventually start dating a young woman who was part of what I called the old guard when the former director ran the show – set, tech and actors on stage. The girlfriend would have a brother who would take over at the bequest of my ex-assistant director based upon what I saw him do in a show he ‘directed’ later in the year. From the start he and I were at odds with one another. Turns out he didn’t really direct the show. His assistant director did. Yes, there is more irony for you.

I recently came to the conclusion I no longer fit with the school’s future plans. The writing was on the wall. I gave them my keys before they had a chance to tell me they no longer wanted me. I left the door open if they changed their mind, but the keys remained in their hands. My ego was bruised, my confidence a bit shaken, but then I began to reflect on my last three years. There wasn’t a day I went into work where I didn’t feel anxiety about the next few hours ahead. My last show was the death knell. There was nothing I could do. We managed to pull something together to entertain the audience, but it was my doing and mine alone. Every show I did for the last three years held a label of the new director that no one likes because he replaced a legacy. Like it or not, I kept slugging forward.

Tonight I write about this because I still am trying to wrap my head around what happened in the last few weeks, moreover the last three years. It has been a trying time, and I was given a ticket out of the maelstrom. That is what I need to understand better than not. Now, I go forward with my own silent confidence knowing I really did dodge a bullet. The show goes on.