Once in a Savage Moon

It is in the city I live in, surrounded by neighbors I’d maybe wish to know better than I do, beyond the hellos, the waves, the talk of lawns and summer ending. Last night I imagined the moon and everything it brought to my mind. The rains were apparent, so I could not see it in its spectacular setting, instead, I visualized based upon the many moons I have witnessed in my life.

It matters little the overcast sky when we think about a moon, such full nature, such depth, when trying to wrap ourselves around why it is we seemingly exist on this planet, inside this solar system, our galaxy. I am not a scientist by any stretch, so I cannot speak much further than the simple analogy I learned in grade school when we all put together our own mobile solar system for Civics class in sixth grade. It might have been 1st grade, apparently matters as much to me today as it did way back when.

The absolute though is that fifty years later, I am still looking for the same moon, and counting on its appearance to let me once again wonder its spectacular vision. I have spent nights sitting on a bridge near my home watching the moon rise, and during such time wondered often what people might be doing with their lives at that very moment. I have a brother once caught me staring at a moon one evening out our family picture window. He said to me, ‘you stare at the moon too long, you become a lunatic, y’know, lunar and all that shit.’ He then walked out the room with a smile on his face. I closed the curtains. That comment haunted me for years afterward. i was twelve at the time, I didn’t know that day dreaming could be such a dangerous affliction in our lives.

But the moon always brought me back. There is no question the fascination, and what it truly does to our state of mind in the peak moments, weekend, couple of days it fills. I worked in mental health for many years, and knew the general impression a moon, without notice would have on our population, including the staff who often because they were designated as such, felt themselves better than the patients  own matter of being. I remember one day, seeing a patient of mine, discharged, walking down a city street near my home. I actually waved, and she waved back. There wasn’t this fear of revealing my private life to this person who struggled to such a point she needed other folks to help her find her way. i would imagine her take on the moon would often have a bearing on the confidence of her state of mind.

So last night, I listened to the weight of the moon. I wondered about life around me, and how people might be going about their own night, whether that globe in the sky would have any impact on how they thought about their own lives and those around them. I thought clearly i was comfortable, I had my dignity in the comfort of my own home, realizing not nearly everyone has that same luxury.

I went to bed around midnight, accepting the reality that my own Savage moon exists for everyone, far be it be only designed for my own benefit. Good night, moon.


© Thom Amundsen 2019

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